I am going to take this opportunity to just vent, get it out of my system and sort my brain out.

I'm quite unhappy with my situation. I'm working on my final papers and I absolutely despise it. I hate this writing. I'll have to spit out another 25 pages before the end of semester. I can't keep doing this, I just can't. I said last semester that if I felt this bad again, I shouldn't be in University.
As much as I love going to class, I abhor the final work. Working at a gallery, owning a gallery, writing freelance about art - none of this necessarily requires an education in Art History as much as knowledge and a distinct interest.

In bed last night, I couldn't sleep. 2 a.m., I'd had 5 hours of sleep, I was caught up thinking. Blessed are breathing techniques, I must say. I got started thinking of the things I wish I was doing now with my life.

• Painting and drawing. I have so many ideas. Could I sell work at fairs? Could I sell work on the internet? I would like to try.
• I want to write more about Paganism.
• I want to get further in my own archaeological studies, and write about the Etruscans for normal people, not scholars, from a re constructionist perspective.
• Furthermore, I want to get published. Sumbit works to contemporary art magazines like WhiteHot and Fuse. Submit to pagan magazines like Wyntergreene, SageWoman, The Beltane Papers etc. etc.
• I want to take better care of my physical health, keep fitness a part of my daily routine.
• Make spiritual devotions daily.
• Get my home the way I like it.

Most of all, if I'm in school, I want to feel like I'm succeeding and doing well. I understand it isn't supposed to be easy, but it shouldn't be giving me anxiety attacks either.

I'll be working p/t time next semester and studying p/t with one, maybe two classes.

I intend to drop University the following year, maybe explore some new subjects in CEGEP (which is an inexpensive collegial system here.) We'll see.