Oomph. I have to say, it didn't feel like a very good ritual. I feel quite discouraged. Actually, I'll look at this in a more positive light - I very much see the need for regular ritual. That, and better ritual preparation. Memorization does go a long way - I hate reading from the page.
Uncertainties:
I found it difficult to write a ritual when I'm still trying to understand certain elements of it. I couldn't ground and center properly. It didn't feel right. I last tried to meditate last week and hit a brick wall - a feeling of a sense of impatience and anxiety. I've developped a very sore back within the last two weeks, from leaning too sharply forward in my kitchen chair at my laptop. It's better now than it was at first, but I'm feeling like an old woman. It was very uncomfortable sitting at my altar.
I felt really uncertain about opening the gates - what is it supposed to feel like? I'm so used to working within a circle, feeling the energy around me, creating my own space. I'm too used it. I want to be more adaptable. I liked Rev. Dangler's idea of using hand motions to open the gates, but I didn't feel it. Maybe in my tri-weekly rites I'll experiment with some different symbols.
I completely forgot my offering to the Gods, so I ran out to the kitchen - I was making an offering of my favourite liqueur and certainly didn't want to deny anyone.
I also forgot, my offering of silver for the gatekeeper. Usually, I have it on my altar and then give it to charity (for Samhain, I believe I donated it to the Island Willow Protogrove.) Raven, who serves as Druid at IWP, tosses the silver into the brush during ritual. That kind of bothers me.
On the plus-side:
I did adapt some aspects, God and Goddess invocations, a sun prayer, from my Wiccan ritual. They felt very comfortable within this new druidic framework. This reinforces my thoughts that once I memorize the words to ritual, I can move on from knowing them to feeling them.
Things to work on:
Invocations: Mine for the ancestors and nature spirits were good, but short. I'd like to write something a little more personal. I think everyone has a different sort of invocation 'style' - I've found most Wiccan writing too flowery, for example, and most Druidic writing too stoic, too long and explanatory. I need to find a point in between.
I really need a better closing statement of thanks. It was so brief, but the entire ritual felt like a constant, redundant string of praising and thanking.
Offerings:
I'm a little uncertain about my offerings, but I usually think it's the thought that counts. For the outdwellers, I mixed some spices - basil, oregano, savory. No specific significance, really. I believe basil keeps away bugs, but they're spices I enjoy when I make meat sauce.
To the Earth-Mother I gave Olive Oil. Now, I felt a bit stupid because I'm out of extra-virgin, so I had to use regular. I just can't afford it right now. I placed it in my oil burner, which made sense at the time. Now I feel like I should have placed it in the offering bowl that I would pour outside - onto the earth (or snow.)
To the Nature-Spirits I gave honey. It was a difficult choice. When I think of nature, I can't help but think "green!". At this time of year, when we already have 40 cm of snow on the ground, nature is a force to be reckoned with that isn't green at all. Honey is sweet and soothing. In the summer, such sweetness would attract bugs and bees and butterflies and animals. In the winter, I love using honey to soothe my throat. Maybe the spirits can be soothes by it too in these cold, harsh times.
For the ancestors I poured a nice, strong wine - one that made me go "Wow!" when I tried it. This feels perfectly right.
For the God and Goddess I called upon, I gave an offering of Amaretto Liqueur, a favourite of mine. Not really appropriate, since I was working with the archtypes of Lady of the Night Sky/Void/Womb/Dark Mother and Hunter/Wild One/Horned Man/Lord of the Underworld. I've enjoyed working with them many times. I usually use port in offering and communion, which I don't actually care for by they seem to have. I'll have to experiment with that too.
I asked them to bless a cup of chai tea and some gingerbread cookies I made, with the inspiration to change my life in the New Year and for their blessings. (Half way through the mug of tea, when it got lukewarm, I felt it was tasting like the pine fragrance oil I was using. Ugh. maybe I made a mistake and got some in the mug. Either way, I didn't like the smell of it and will not use it any more.)
Feelings
I was happy when I started the ritual - perfect timing, 4:00, just before the sun started setting. I finished the ritual in darkness, with the last candle to be kept lit until sunrise.
As it progressed, I became more uncertain and felt I was speeding too much. (I felt this at Samhain too - I should have reread that response before this rit to remind myself.) Towards the end, I tried to speak slowly - deliberately slowly, which did help. Next time, I'd like to sing more. Some ecstatic singing could be an effective addition.
I was kind of glad to have it over with, I'm ashamed to say. I felt so very tired after. My back hurt. I ate dinner, and fell asleep on the couch.
Omen
This is actually what I found the most interesting part of the ritual. I sort of expected a bad one, I didn't feel the ritual went well, it felt uncomfortable.
I used a tarot deck. I asked for the blessing of my food and drink by my God and Goddess of no-name, the watchful eye of the ancestors, and the literal and figurative support of the land.
I drew the 2 of Coins, The Chariot, and The Lovers. Here's my interpretation, given the variation of my deck from other standards:
The 2 of Coins shows a merchant coming towards land, the sea behind him. A ship sails at the horizon line, birds in the distance. With his feather cap and rich dressings, it's a positive card of movement, change and progression in the financial realm. This change leads to great new opportunities that can be fruitful if managed right.
I actually started a new job Monday at an established company. The pay is much better than I am accustomed, the work is much more agreeable. I have stopped attending University because it was so stressful. I take this a positive sign that things will go well.
I imagine that The Chariot follows along similar terms - it has always been a card that's difficult for me to interpret. Again, movement and change, but with an assertion of will, hard control of the self.
This could refer to my financial situation. My living costs are quite low, and I could actually be saving a lot of money with this job- I can live off of two-weeks worth of pay. This card is also a reminder that in order to succeed at my plans for the year - going to the gym, freelance writing , pursuing artistic passions - one needs a lot of drive and discipline.
Finally, The Lovers. What a wonderful card. I'm currently in a committed relationship. We live together. I'm in love with a great man and feel quite fortunate and happy that he's here for me. I'm so glad the holidays are here, so we can spend time with each others' families. I guess this means he'll be an anchor to my life in these changing times (me, working for a living and not wanting to be a student. I hardly recognise myself.)
So, that's another ritual recap. Please comment if you have any insights or suggestions.
Yule usually falls between December 21st and the 23rd, but should be astrologically calculated. The Winter Solstice is technically the longest night of the year, in which there are more hours of dark than of daylight. It is symbolically special, representing survival of the most difficult of nights knowing that things will improve. It is a positive celebration, welcoming the return of the sun and that the hours of daylight will be increasing! It is for this reason that I consider Yule to be the Neo-Pagan New Year, something to truly celebrate! It appropriately follows Samhain, the end of the year. The time in between is one of careful reflection upon ourselves, our lives and our future.
Yule is interesting in Montreal. The weather often fluctuates - in 2006, it didn't snow until January, yet this year in 2007 we've already received significant snowfall. Winter here is characteristically unpredictable, we might say. Personally, I find the sky takes on a specific shade of blue, a sort of rich ultramarine, that I've heard was special to Montreal. I will always associate this late-evening colour with Yule.
Origins
Yule is actually Germanic in origin, stemming from the word yol or yula that means 'feast' or 'wheel'. It was not a time celebrated by the Celts.
In Roman tradition, one would celebrate Saturnalia around this time, on December 17th. It was a large celebration devoted to the freeing of Saturn. Marked with giving gifts, especially candles to mark the growing light after solstice, it was a time of great celebration.
Traditions
Yuletide resolutions or 'Yule Blueprints' are an important part of my winter solstice ritual. With the coming of the sun and the promise of brighter days, resolutions are ways we can brighten our life. I feel it's very important to take control of the way we live and not just let things 'happen'. We choose to be happy, and these blueprints are a start. The time between now and Imbolc is one of planning.
The Yule Log seems popular among solitary Neo-Pagans, though I'm not sure of the origins of it, especially that today people usually assume you're referring to a long cake. It's actually a real log that one would charge with protective, positive energies. You would start your fire in your fireplace with it, and keep it going all night until the sun rises. Given that many people don't have fireplaces today, it can also serve as a beautiful and symbolic candle-holder for an all-night vigil.
Performing a candle lit vigil is the act of witnessing the setting of the sun, and staying awake until it rises again. A candle would be kept lit throughout the night as a reminder of the Sun and its warmth. I enjoy this tradition, but find it immensely difficult.
Wow- it's snowed! It really snowed! It only snowed in January last year! To think that It was 15 degrees (centigrade) mid-October - we were sweating - and now we have snow! I'm elated.
I just watched part of Polar Express with my roomate's girlfriend, so of course now I'm in quite the Christmas mood. I'm immensely stressed and should be doing better things now than thinking of the holidays, but I can't help it.
I know the local ADF Grove is planning a Yuletide all-night vigil, but I can't help but feel slightly uncomfortable. There's a likelihood that I'll encounter people I don't especially want to see , who I went to college with and whom I associate with some bad personal times.
Instead, I'm considering a home vigil: a shrine to the sun, candles lit. MeteoMedia nicely lists that the solstice is the night and morning from the 21st to 22nd of December. I'd like to get my roommate and his ladyfriend there that morning, maybe that's when we could exchange gifts? We won't be seeing each other later, given we'll all be visiting our families'.
Make sun shrine Make a Yule Log and charge, bring it to my mum's after the Sabbat for Christmas. What else?
This is an anonymously taken photo of Montreal from Mount-Royal. The noisy Canadian Geese flying south for the winter remind us that summer has ended. Fall is a time full of colour and bounty from farms in the province. Apples are especially plentiful, reflecting an important part of Quebec agriculture. Come Samhain, the geese are gone, the leaves are falling. Winter fast approaches.
Samhain
Time and Historical Background
Samhain is usually honoured after nightfall on the 31st of October. As a cross-quarter, his High Day can be astrologically calculated to be best celebrated when the sun is 15 degrees into Scorpio, the perfect point between the Autumn Equinox and the Winter Solstice.
The ancient Celts fit the year into two seasons - one warm in which things would grow, and the other cold and barren. Samhain, to them, signified the beginning of the latter, dark half of the year. They did not celebrate the eight High Days Neo-Pagans celebrate today, probably only the four cross-quarters. For the Celtic Druids, the time of Samhain would have been determined by environmental changes, weather and animal patterns.
Considered the last of the harvest festivals, Samhain was when the farmers would kill and cure the meat of animals who would be too weak to survive the winter.
The Celts believed that in the natural order of things, the dark half preceded the light. We can think of this in terms of pregnancy - gestation before birth. To Celts, a new day began with nighttime, followed by daylight. The day would end at sunset. Samhain, in turn, reminds us that a new annual cycle as begun. The summer-half of the year has ended, and the beginning of the dark half signifies the start of another year. This Celtic "New Year" 1 is a reminder of life cycles and not so much the great celebration of its secular counterpart on December 31st. With it's emphasis on honouring ancestors, Samhain can actually be a very somber affair.
Mythology
Julius Caesar reported that at this time, the Celts especially honoured the God of death and winter, whom he referred to as Dis Pater.3 In connection, Encyclopedia Mythica states that one of The Dagda's epithets is Ollathir, meaning "All-Father".
Mythically, The Dagda met The Morrigan by the river Unshin one Sahmain. They made love, and The Morrigan promised her support in an upcoming battle.4 I feel this arrangement is very important in understanding Samhain on numerous symbolic levels.
The Morrigan is a Goddess of war and power. A sorceress and shape shifter, she is also a Goddess of the land, and therefore possesses it's knowledge and secrets. In sexual union, The Dagda makes an offering of himself5 in order to gain the favour of the land, which would ensure their success. We can also see this impending "battle" as a symbol of surviving Winter.
The two deities play very different roles within the Celtic pantheon. Their union also brings us "the thinning up the veils", when the realm of the living (The Dagda) and the realm of the spirits (The Morrigan) become one. This makes it an ideal time to honour the dead- their souls are closest to us at this time.
*Note: This is a note to myself to make an addition here about Etruscan views on death, celebration, etc. Such care went into making their tombs, afterall, which is where we get so much of our archaeological info from! Also: Roman, if possible.
Modern Samhain Traditions
Most Samhain rituals today revolve primarily around communing with and honouring the ancestors.
The dumb supper is a popular Samhain rite. It is a meal served in sacred space and in complete silence so that sitters may receive their messages from the dead. Extra places are set and served in honour of loved ones who have passed away.It has been suggested that salt should not be used, as it traditionally is used to keep spirits away.
Personally, I make offerings to the dead during ritual, usually using grain, dried cranberries, apples and wine. I name the families of my ancestors, and friends who have passed. I give thanks for family - afterall, we would not be if not for the ancestors. I also resolve during this time to actually visit my family.
(1) The Neo-Pagan Wheel of the Year also adapts the Solstices and Equinoxes, so I feel it's very important to distinguish Samhain from Yule, especially as far as "celebrating the Pagan New Year" goes. The Dedicant's Manual indicates similarities between the Celts' Samhain and the Equinox/Yule celebrations of the Norse.
I think it's distinctly inappropriate to say "Happy Samhain" to someone, or "Happy Witches' New Year!". I think these sort of celebrations are reserved for Yule, when the sun reemerges after the longest night of the year. This will be discussed in my article about Yule/Midwinter.
(2) In November, my Roman-Catholic Nonna, who immigrated here from Italy, would create a candle-lit shrine with photos to pay respects all those she'd known who'd passed away. I was always curious about the origins of this tradition. Along with Remembrance Day on November 11th, the time around Samhain is distinctly meaningful to me.
(3) Dis Pater is distinctly Latin. I associate this Father God mostly with The Dagda, Cernunnos and Donn within Celtic mythology.
(4) James MacKillop. Dictionary of Celtic Mythology. 1998: Oxford University Press. See sections: Samain, [sic] Dadga.
(5) I see this myth as an extension of "The Sacrifice of the God" of the Wiccan mythos.It is unknown whether fertility rites were initially part of this High Day.
Well, I'd been thinking about it for months - having my boyfriend of a year-and-a-half participate in a ritual with me. He knew I was Pagan before I'd even gotten to know him. We've been living together since April, along with a roommate who's also a ware and certainly very tolerant, and it's been impractical, waiting for everyone to be gone. I do my workings in the living room, since it's a more open space and it's always much tidier than my bedroom. (I know, I know...)
I'm about to spend my second holiday season with Chris, and bring him to my family's Christmas Dinner for a second year. Besides loving him, I really think we work well together, complement each other and share similar goals for the future. I can't imagine having a family with him and feeling awkward about doing ritual or meditating with him around. I'd like to raise my children as Pagans, at least, as long as they wanted it.
So, with this all in mind, I decided that I would ask Chris to join me in my Samhain ritual. I knew he would be able to understand it's purpose - though he doesn't have any close family that's passed away yet (lucky him), I'm sure that in the future, he could even enjoy it. It went quite well, and lasted three hours. I was glad to have had him with me - we even did Tarot readings for each other.
My most successful Samhain ritual was two years ago - very emotional. Last year, I remember feeling like I did a lazy ritual. This year was better, but not as "connected" to the ancestors as I would have liked. I need to focus on more better energy-raising techniques. The long poem I read was lovely, but not quite right.
In the end, it was my own nervousness that hindered me. I went to fast while speaking. I didn't have enough time, or feel at ease enough, to meditate and get into the ritual mindset. This was my own doing, and I'll work on doing it more often around others to become more accustomed. (It's sad, I can meditate after a workout at the gym, why not when I'm alone with someone?)
This is important - I want to start practicing - Druidism or something resembling my own ecclectic Craft - with others. In most other things I'm quite confident, so I find my shyness during magical or ritual matters uncharacteristic of me, and uncomfortable. A challenge for me to overcome!
The next day I went to my cousin Allen's - visited with him, his wife Caroline, and his wee three-year-old daughter Julianne. We went trick-or-treating! Caroline's pregnant, and I'm so happy for them. I love stopping by there. So many people don't have relationships with their cousins. When my grandparents immigrated to Canada with their children, they only had each other. My mum was the youngest, and her eldest sister was 15 years older than her.
Now, we're a pretty close family. Allen's probably ten or eleven years younger than my mom. He's around eighteen years older than I am, the same age difference between myself and his daughter. I was sitting there, talking to him, and he said "You're so much like [your mother]!". It used to be him, going over to my parents house and watching the hockey game, keeping me - a baby - awake as a good luck charm.
I think I'll make visiting family 'round Samhain a tradition. What a way to honour ones ancestors, by loving their children.
